The Best Of Relations: A Pride And Prejudice Variation by Catherine Bilson

Author:Catherine Bilson
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Catherine Bilson
Published: 2015-04-17T03:00:00+00:00

Mr Bennet looked bemused for a moment, and then said, “Do not distress yourself, my dear. I am convinced we shall get along tolerably well without any of our daughters being needed to scrub the floors.”

“But Mr Collins!” Mrs Bennet began to sob loudly again.

“Sister?” Mr Bennet looked to Mrs Gardiner. “Can you shed any light on this matter for me, as I am not quite sure what has my Fanny so distressed?”

“I did not overhear the conversation,” Mrs Gardiner admitted, “but Lady Lucas told me that there was some sort of confrontation between Mr Darcy and Mr Collins, and Mr Darcy accused him of presenting himself to your family falsely, that the Hunsford living is worth little and that if he took a wife they would not be able to afford a servant to cook and clean.”

“I see,” Mr Bennet plucked his own large handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to his wife, seeing that her lace-trimmed scrap was thoroughly wet as she was, for once, genuinely crying. “Well, well, my dear. Allow me to alleviate your suffering by assuring you that none of our daughters, and most certainly not my Lizzy, will ever be scrubbing floors in the Hunsford parsonage. I had already determined to refuse Mr Collins’ suit, even if one of them should be silly enough to accept him.”

“But the entail!” Mrs Bennet sobbed. “We shall all be out in the hedgerows!”

“Mrs Bennet, if you will just cease wailing and dry your eyes, and come into supper with me, I have reason to believe that we may hear some news which may appease you a little.”

Mrs Bennet demanded that he tell her at once, but Mr Bennet refused, claiming that it was not his news to tell, and she would just have to settle herself and come into supper, or suffer hearing all about it from Lady Lucas and Mrs Philips. The thought of having to hear yet more (possibly scandalous) gossip from her friends compelled Mrs Bennet to calm herself expeditiously, and within a few minutes she was breathing sedately and suffering Mrs Gardiner to wipe her face with a cool cloth.

“There, I hear the supper bell,” Mr Bennet had settled himself in a chair to wait and drawn a book from his pocket. “Allow me to escort the two loveliest ladies here tonight into supper.”

Both his wife and sister laughed at his nonsense, and Mrs Gardiner exclaimed “Thomas, you dreadful creature! You know very well your daughters outshine us by far!”

“Yes, but I have no chance of escorting any of them into supper, do I?” Mr Bennet smiled. “They are no doubt at this very moment surrounded by fervent young swains begging for the honour.”

“You do like to jest with us, Mr Bennet!” His wife laughed. “I am sure poor Mary will not – well I never!” They were approaching the door of the dining-room, and there right in front of them was indeed her aforementioned middle daughter, being escorted in on the arm of a tall, fair-haired gentleman in a very well-cut brown coat.

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